Work That Body: Gym Manners

Hot Girl Etiquette Gym MannersWhenever I am working out at the gym one childhood rhyme comes to mind…

“If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.”

Someone had written that phrase on the red wooden door in a slanted direction on the camp bathroom stall. It looked like a fallen stop sign, cautioning dirty little girls to wipe it up. It begged us to keep common areas clean.

I was eight when I first read it. Camp Mohawk is years behind me, but I still giggle when I think about those words. It reminds me to always clean up after myself when I cop a squat.

Now I want to yell my rhyme to the sweaty people at my local gym. I want to scream “If you sprinkle…” to those people who workout, stand up, and walk away from their pool of body sweat. They leave little sprinkles of sweat and never wipe it away… UGH!!! Gross!

Hot Girl Etiquette gym mannersWe know gym etiquette, right? Don’t talk on the phone. Do not take too long on machines when others are waiting. Wipe up your sweat. Done!In my book, the gym  only has one main etiquette rule: Clean up your sweat! No one wants your leftover wet germs.

If you sprinkle [sweat] on the machines wipe it away for the next person. It’s just common sense and common courtesy.

Keep calm, sweat on, clean it up.

TTYL, Hotties.

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If you like this blog purchase the e-book Hot Girl Etiquette: A Modern Guide to Manners & A Properly Fabulous Life on AmazoniTunes, and Nook


Protesting Laws and Etiquette

Peaceful protesters for Trayvon Martin
Peaceful protesters for Trayvon Martin

Saturday night, July 13, 2013, I sat in my car and stared at my phone. Throughout the day I tried to stay occupied while waiting for the Trayvon Martin/Zimmerman trial verdict to come in. I checked twitter, online news sites, and Facebook to stay abreast of any and all updates. Well, at 7:50pm I looked at my phone and wanted to cry. George Zimmerman, 29, was found not guilty for shooting unarmed, 17-year-old, Trayvon Martin.

Like many fellow Americans I followed the Martin family as they pushed for Zimmerman’s arrest and I watched the case unfold on television. I was saddened because I have a black father, two brothers, and three nephews. I was scared for them and all black men, women, and children who not only heard the verdict, but also translated that “Not Guilty” verdict into, “it is okay to shoot them (and me) because someone ‘fears’ me.” I felt physical pain in my heart. I started tuning my car radio dial to listen for local protest and stations taking phone calls from LA listeners.

As I listened to one person after the next call and complain about the verdict I decided I was going to take part in my first protest. Yeah, I had listened to leaders speak at parks, written a letter to my school principal to protest our dress code, and beeped my horn in support of other protesters on the street. I had never held a sign or chanted for equality. I didn’t know what to expect. The Trayvon Martin trial was dear to me and many other people, so I was not sure if other protesters planned to burn and loot buildings like the LA riots of 1992, following the acquittal of four police officers that brutally beat African-American, Rodney King.

NBA players for the Miami Heat stand with hoodies up in silent protest for Trayvon Martin
NBA players for the Miami Heat stand with hoodies up in silent protest for Trayvon Martin

If I planned to protest I was going to do it right. True to my type A personality, I researched my rights, the laws, and etiquette related to protesting (and a possible arrest). After watching several unruly Martin supports and protesters on the evening news jumping on cars and terrorizing other civilians I decided to share how you and I can have a peaceful but affective protest for Trayvon Martin… or anything you believe in.

Protest Do’s

  • Do know your rights. 1st Amendment protects your right to assemble and your right to free speech. You can hand out flyers, chant, beat a drum and dance. Wear your T-shirts, wave your flag and carry signs. You can even bring puppets (yup, you can have a PUPPET at a protest).
  • Do let people decline accepting flyers. Give people the choice to walk away or through the rally.
  • Do say what you want to support your values and gripes. You can criticize, swear, and yell about the government, officials, or a corporation. You CANNOT threaten violence or any bodily harm toward anyone or anything. Oh yeah, it’s against the law to threaten the president and vice president… your butt will land in jail with a federal charge.
  • You can protest ANYWHERE you want as long as it is public property, but you need a permit if you want to use the street, highway, or sidewalks.
  • You can attend a protest and heckle and yell that you disagree. Stay safe. The majority of the people at a protest agree with one view. If you plan to heckle make sure you have your facts and your get away plan.
  • Do have a trusted attorney on alert in case things go down hill.
A protest escalates to violence during a Los Angeles May Day event.
A protest escalates to violence during a Los Angeles May Day event.

Protest Don’t

  • DO NOT threaten violence or act in a violent or uncivilized way. The police are watching and you will be locked up. What voice will you have if you are in a tiny cell. Think about it!
  • Don’t abuse anyone, burn anything, threaten anyone or argue with police.
  • Avoid bringing guns, knives, pocket knives, or any weapon to a protest. You want people to come and hear your point of view. Weapons will only alarm them and fear violence.
  • Don’t stick around if a police office tells you to disperse. Calmly get his name and badge number to make a complaint and rectify the situation for the next protest.
  • Don’t forget your ID at home. Don’t carry a fake ID. Don’t for get valuable phone numbers. If you get arrested the police will ask for an idea and take all of your belongings… including your phone. You will need to legally ID yourself and make that one phone call for bail.
  • Try not to get arrested. If you do see the paddy wagon in the horizon go peacefully. Don’t fight the police. Like we saw on the Rodney King attack tape, the police have sticks and they will use them. They can also tase you bro., so choose to fight it in court.
  • Don’t stop and start with a protest. Find several peaceful ways to get your views heard (like the Miami Heat players in the picture above), by your local officials, news networks, and fellow people.

Go protest and be safe.

I can report that my first protest was calm and I loved being around people that shared my views.

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If you like this blog purchase the e-book Hot Girl Etiquette: A Modern Guide to Manners & A Properly Fabulous Life on AmazoniTunes, and Nook

Should Entertainers and Athletes Take Etiquette Class

Rapper Meek Mill
Rapper Meek Mill

The untraditional court order for rapper Meek Mill to attend etiquette class has called attention to manners in Hollywood. Meek Mill was ordered to take business and etiquette trainer after a judge and his attorney saw inappropriate tweets, bad probation management, and unpleasant behavior from the rapper. Entertainers and athletes misbehave all the time. Should all people in the public eye take etiquette class?

As an etiquette teacher and advocate for all things related to good manners is my hobby, I will try to look at this matter with an objective eye. I admit that etiquette class and manners training should be required by all middle schools and high schools. The word “etiquette” sometimes brings up a snobbish idea, but in reality etiquette is how you relate and treat the people around you.

Chad Johnson in court
Chad Johnson in court

If etiquette is simply how we behave and treat the people around us a mandatory class is not so bad. Let’s take a look at Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson’s behavior. He slams his wife’s head against the car dash-board. He then goes to court… does a little time. Gets out early and pats his attorney’s butt as a thank you… gets sent back to jail for a week for disrespectful behavior in court. How much time and money did this cost the ex NFL player and reality star? After his final release he stated he learned something that his parents never showed him… respecting other people.

Attorney, Kashta K. Eneas, Esq. stated, “I don’t think it [etiquette] should be mandated at all. I’m sure it could help, but for many, lack of etiquette is the least of their problems.”

Like Chad Johnson, many entertainers and athletes have not learned the rules of manners and etiquette at home due to their recognized extraordinary talents. Behavior problems are excused to focus on winning and/or making money.

Sean "Diddy" Combs
Sean “Diddy” Combs

Sean “Diddy” Combs, a master in the Hip-Hop and pop culture scene is requiring etiquette. Many performer think good etiquette will take the “real-ness” away from who they are, but on the contrary etiquette will help increase their brand by arming themselves with knowledge and relating to ALL people. Combs hired an etiquette coach to teach his Bad Boy staff manners. His new hire protocol includes learning how to hold a wine glass properly to presenting a business card in Japan.

In my wildest dreams etiquette and manners would be required for everyone, particularly people in the public eye. Young performers and athletes are thrust in front of the public and taken on a ride of extreme highs and drastic lows. It is their benefit to learn how to conduct themselves when they are climbing the ladder of success, promoting a hit record, or defending their character.

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If you like this blog purchase the e-book Hot Girl Etiquette: A Modern Guide to Manners & A Properly Fabulous Life on AmazoniTunes, and Nook

TTYL, Hotties

Apology Etiquette in 5 Steps

Paula Deen Apology Hot Girl EtiquettePaula Deen, the southern, butter-loving, celebrity chef, has been on an apology tour for using the word nigger in the past. Deen has appeared on the Today Show and two online videos to explain and apologize her slurs. But, is she serving her apology right or just burning her butter?

During a deposition in relation to a lawsuit against her and her brother for sexual harassment and violent behavior, Deen admitted to using the “N-word.” Since the release of the deposition Deen has been begging for society to make her as golden as her deep-fried chicken. Unfortunately, Deen is serving up a tasty apology on a dirty garbage pail. She lacks the etiquette to reach the people she offended.

Like the celebrity chefs Today Show apology, many people ask for forgiveness completely wrong. Apologies have several steps before the person who you offended will accept.

Apology Step 1: Come to an understanding to why you are apologizing. Did you hurt or offend someone? Do you truly feel regretful? Know where you stand before you attempt to apologize.

Apology Step 2: Give your apology face-to-face. Don’t text, leave notes, or email an apology. You will look lazy and uncaring. If you cannot meet in person, call him/her. People want to hear your voice and see that you mean what you say.

Apology Step 3: Be sincere in your words and your actions. Deen blew her apology because she kept focusing on everyone else’s faults. Your sincerity is all about you letting go of what you feel and wearing the other persons shoes. Don’t tell them how they should feel or why you are still upset. Let it go.

Apology Step 4: Don’t beat around the bush. Just say “I’m Sorry,” then explain why you’re sorry. Look the person in the eyes and speak from the heart.

Apology Step 5: Breathe and be patient. An apology is hard to say and worse when you lose a trusting friend. Give the other person a chance to consider your apology. She may or may not forgive you, but rest assured that you did the right thing the best way you knew how.

**If all else fails just tell yourself “I is what I is.”

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If you like this blog purchase the e-book Hot Girl Etiquette: A Modern Guide to Manners & A Properly Fabulous Life on AmazoniTunes, and Nook

TTYL, Hotties


Father Figure

Me and my dad.
Me and my dad.

Father’s Day always makes me recall telling family stories. As kids, my sisters and I loved to lounge in the living room and watch movies — that was our regular weekend routine when homework was complete. Well, one lazy Saturday night, my sisters and I got a hold of “Saturday Night Live: The Best of Eddie Murphy.”  I was about 13 years old when we sat in front of the television laughing at Eddie Murphy play characters like Gumby, Stevie Wonder, and impersonate James Brown climbing into a hot tub with a live band behind him.

While we watched and laughed, my father and mother talked in the kitchen, within ear shot of us. I told my sister to fast forward our VHS tape, probably left by my uncles.I wanted to see Eddie as Velvet Jones, pimped out in a purple leisure suit and a smooth pompadour, talking about, “How To Be A Ho.”

“Play How to be a Ho. That lady’s wig is so funny. Play the ho skit.” I told my sister as I giggled.

A moment later my father’s brown bald head and slender frame stepped out of the kitchen and slammed on the power button to the VCR. The television went black before I could explain the hilarious SNL sketch.

Eddie Murphy as Velvet Jones on Saturday Night Live
Eddie Murphy as Velvet Jones on Saturday Night Live

“Turn off the garbage and ordered me and my sisters to get a book,” he yelled.

At the time I thought he was just being a strict dad who wanted to control me and my sisters. But now, I thank God he told me to turn Eddie off — not because I would have become a prostitute by Pimp Jones’ direction. Rather because he showed me how a man, who loves me, is going to care about what I surround my life with.

A fathers role has always been one of the most important parts of an emotionally healthy child and adult. A fathers love is most critical in the maturing of a girl to a lady. He is her first reference of behavior a young woman has to compare how a man should treat her.

If a father is absent or rarely available, a young woman will create a habit of pursuing men that are not available (emotionally or physically). She may also create a pattern of “proving” love or allowing men to fill your life with disrespectful words and actions.

I know we cannot choose our parents… we get what we get. With that said, we are in control of our own habits with men. We create the pattern of allowance and habit. Therefore, people will treat us the way we allow them to. We control what we take in, this includes listening to “…how you too can be a ho,” or hearing a man tell you, “I will be over to talk about your wonderful day.”

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If you like this blog purchase the e-book Hot Girl Etiquette: A Modern Guide to Manners & A Properly Fabulous Life on AmazoniTunes, and Nook

Happy Father’s Day

Ttyl, Hotties


I Love You Etiquette

Jamie Foxx at 2013 MTV Movie Awards, wearing a T-Shirt with Trayvon Martin in center surrounded by the children killed in the Sandy Hook Shooting
Jamie Foxx at 2013 MTV Movie Awards wearing a T-Shirt with Trayvon Martin in center surrounded by the children killed in the Sandy Hook Shooting

Today I was walking to my car, pep in my step and work on my mind. As I walked with vigor I hear a voice say, “I love you”. Now, I was walking alone and my outfit was not so fabulous that a random man is going to cat call to me. As a television performer I know when I am having a fashionable day or an average day. Today was def. average… maybe a little boring. But, I had to see who could say the three words that I hesitate to share with people I do love.

As I turned over my left should to look back at the stranger and thank him I smiled. I saw a homeless man sitting at the bus stop. I see this man a couple of days a week. I have never uttered more than a simple “Good morning” to him and continued walking. I turned, smiled, and said, “Thank you,” then continued my journey.

Hearing him say, “I love you” warmed my heart. I began to think about how often I say those words and how often I want to say the phrase but don’t. I rarely say it (close to never), but always want to hear it. What is the etiquette to saying I LOVE YOU? Is their etiquette to verbally sharing your love? Well, I had to look into to it.

Love is an Old English word that was in use before 12th Century. Today love said so often it has many meanings. Love can mean you desire a person, enjoyed a meal, or simply have a personal connection to an object or a place. I read The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman to understand love and my connection to love even more. What I realized is love is normally a very selfish word. Love is often about making our personal ego feel good and sometimes benefiting another person.

In May of 2000, millions of computers were attacked by a worm called “ILOVEYOU” and the attachment “LOVE-LETTER-FOR-YOU.txt.” Like too many “I love you’s” told to us we jumped at the chance to believe the email. Like the attachment we often open up, then end up with dashed hopes and destroyed files.

Today hearing “I love you” felt real and not agenda driven. America had a bombing at the Boston Marathon, and hundreds of people ran toward the blast to save lives. Gun violence and gun control is being fought in the senate and on the T-shirt of Jamie Foxx at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards. Magic Johnson recorded a personal video in support of his gay son, E.J Johnson, when so many public figures are still denouncing homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

Love is in the air and it feel good. True love requires no etiquette, just honesty.

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If you like this blog purchase the e-book Hot Girl Etiquette: A Modern Guide to Manners & A Properly Fabulous Life on AmazoniTunes, and Nook

Good Posture is Good Etiquette

My pet peeve is seeing a beautiful outfit on a slouching body. Ugh!!! Cringe!!!

Kristen Stewart
Kristen Stewart

One way to get someone to not believe in you is to have poor posture. Think about. A person that slumps over or does not hold their head up high with shoulders back project a lack of confidence. Confidence is the key to success and looking great.

Good posture makes you look taller, thinner, and positive. Bad posture looks sloppy, sad, and can cause back pain, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Good posture is achieved by…

  • Standing with chest high
  • Hold your head up straight
  • Shoulders back and relaxed
  • Your hips and butt pulled in and tight
  • Stand with weight evenly on feet

You can practice this stance by standing with your back against the wall to familiarize yourself with the feeling. You can also practice the old fashion way: walk across the room balancing a book on your head. The goal is to practice good posture and look fabulous.

Make sure you do not over extend your back or lean back. Many women do this to make legs look longer. Leaning back only makes you look shorter and unbalanced, which could lead to falling on your butt.

Anne Hathaway
Anne Hathaway

Good posture continues when you are seated as well.

  • Sit with your back straight against the back of the chair.
  • Keep your knees together and ankles crossed at angle.
  • Hands on your lap.

Hot Girl Etiquette Book Cover

If you like this blog purchase the e-book Hot Girl Etiquette: A Modern Guide to Manners & A Properly Fabulous Life on AmazoniTunes, and Nook