Slut Shaming

Flyy Girl Slut Shaming

We have been hearing a lot about slut-shaming in the media lately. What is labeling a person as a slut?  The act of making a woman or girl feel inferior or guilty for her sexual behavior, social situation or clothing because it deviates from traditional societal expectations is called slut shaming.

I hate slut shaming. It’s when a person slaps the scarlet letter “S” on a woman, or girl to define her as having so little intellectual worth that they label her as a person who must use their body or sex for public adulation, i.e. dressing like a whore, sounding trashy, and having sex. Slut shaming is what people do a female when they don’t want to deal with a deeper issue that reveals something about themselves.

If you watch Atlanta Housewives, follow the Amber Rose, Khloe Kardashian and Kanye West banter, and many comments on social media you are well aware that we use slut shaming as a way to silence a woman. Slut, whore, hoe, tramp, THOT are labels we have all heard and probably said. An attack toward a female is always to stop her in her tracks and stifle her voice. Why does society label women as sluts and whores? Because it works. Women are so scared to be labeled as a bitch, a hoe, or a slut we bite our tongues. We also use slut shaming to keep a person in the group we think they belong to. The snobs, the poor folks, ghetto are all pushed toward slut labels as a form of bias.

In an Armstrong and Hamilton 2004 college slut-shaming study the women had different conceptions of what constituted a campus slut, with the low-status women pinning sluttiness on “rich bitches in sororities,” and the high-status women aligning sluttiness with women they perceived as “trashy,” not “classy.”

We can look at the current slut-shaming fights in Hollywood. Amber Rose verses Kloe Kardashian Twitter war is an example. The 30 showers Kanye West said he had to take after being with former stripper, Amber Rose, just to date and marry wealthier Kim Kardashian, top selling sex video personality. Have we heard anything from Amber Rose’s Twitter account since? Keep in mind Amber Rose only stated her dismay about a twenty-five year old man dating a minor aged Kardashian.

I write this piece to not point fingers. I want all of us to look at how we ingroup, shame, and mute each other.


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Public Display of Affection


Is the summer heat making us hot and bothered? I think so. Everyone from the presidential couple to Justin and Selena are making out and putting it on display. Whether you have a summer love or not, your blood starts boiling even as you think of old flames and what you want to do to your new summer love. Public display of affection is infectious and I like it… the right way.

I’ll admit, I’m not a big fan of groping and grabbing my honey in public like Justing Bieber and Selena Gomez, but they’re young. We all did it at some point. You experience it and move on.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber PDA on a trip in Hawaii

I prefer the sweet little peck  like President Obama and the First Lady, Michelle Obama.

President Obama and Michelle Obama kiss at basketball game

For women public display of affection is tricky. Men love putting their hands on you. The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman prove that most men and many women love physical attention. You want to show the person you love (or like) them, but you don’t want to hear “get a room” from onlookers. I have a rule: if we’ve been involved for a few months or more we can hold hands and peck. After marriage I am perfectly happy to show the world how far my tongue can go down your throat (just kidding… kinda).

PDA is full of love, but it can bite you in the butt. Making out with man after man, just doesn’t look good, even if you truly loved each one of them. We all want love to last forever, but if you break up (and many relationships do) you are making out in the street with every man who catches your eye. Seriously. Let’s go down PDA Lane with Kimye…

Amber Rose and Kanye West
Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush
Kenya West PDA
Ray J and Kim Kardashian Kissing

Okay, okay, that last photo with Ray J and Kim Kardashian is technically in “private.” But, you get the point.

Discretion is key. Making out with every sexy man on your arm in public isn’t showing love for him, it’s showing a lack of love for yourself. Here are some ideas: sneak off to private place, give a quick peck, a kiss on the cheek or forehead is endearing and sexy.

I know the above people can’t help being caught on camera, but we can. Don’t take pictures of you and your flavor of the month making out. It’s just tacky!

One day when you’re married and with children you will be happy you don’t have tons of pictures of you draped across some mans face.

Keep it classy, Hotties.