Paula Deen, the southern, butter-loving, celebrity chef, has been on an apology tour for using the word nigger in the past. Deen has appeared on the Today Show and two online videos to explain and apologize her slurs. But, is she serving her apology right or just burning her butter?
During a deposition in relation to a lawsuit against her and her brother for sexual harassment and violent behavior, Deen admitted to using the “N-word.” Since the release of the deposition Deen has been begging for society to make her as golden as her deep-fried chicken. Unfortunately, Deen is serving up a tasty apology on a dirty garbage pail. She lacks the etiquette to reach the people she offended.
Like the celebrity chefs Today Show apology, many people ask for forgiveness completely wrong. Apologies have several steps before the person who you offended will accept.
Apology Step 1: Come to an understanding to why you are apologizing. Did you hurt or offend someone? Do you truly feel regretful? Know where you stand before you attempt to apologize.
Apology Step 2: Give your apology face-to-face. Don’t text, leave notes, or email an apology. You will look lazy and uncaring. If you cannot meet in person, call him/her. People want to hear your voice and see that you mean what you say.
Apology Step 3: Be sincere in your words and your actions. Deen blew her apology because she kept focusing on everyone else’s faults. Your sincerity is all about you letting go of what you feel and wearing the other persons shoes. Don’t tell them how they should feel or why you are still upset. Let it go.
Apology Step 4: Don’t beat around the bush. Just say “I’m Sorry,” then explain why you’re sorry. Look the person in the eyes and speak from the heart.
Apology Step 5: Breathe and be patient. An apology is hard to say and worse when you lose a trusting friend. Give the other person a chance to consider your apology. She may or may not forgive you, but rest assured that you did the right thing the best way you knew how.
**If all else fails just tell yourself “I is what I is.”