Father’s Day always makes me recall telling family stories. As kids, my sisters and I loved to lounge in the living room and watch movies — that was our regular weekend routine when homework was complete. Well, one lazy Saturday night, my sisters and I got a hold of “Saturday Night Live: The Best of Eddie Murphy.” I was about 13 years old when we sat in front of the television laughing at Eddie Murphy play characters like Gumby, Stevie Wonder, and impersonate James Brown climbing into a hot tub with a live band behind him.
While we watched and laughed, my father and mother talked in the kitchen, within ear shot of us. I told my sister to fast forward our VHS tape, probably left by my uncles.I wanted to see Eddie as Velvet Jones, pimped out in a purple leisure suit and a smooth pompadour, talking about, “How To Be A Ho.”
“Play How to be a Ho. That lady’s wig is so funny. Play the ho skit.” I told my sister as I giggled.
A moment later my father’s brown bald head and slender frame stepped out of the kitchen and slammed on the power button to the VCR. The television went black before I could explain the hilarious SNL sketch.
“Turn off the garbage and ordered me and my sisters to get a book,” he yelled.
At the time I thought he was just being a strict dad who wanted to control me and my sisters. But now, I thank God he told me to turn Eddie off — not because I would have become a prostitute by Pimp Jones’ direction. Rather because he showed me how a man, who loves me, is going to care about what I surround my life with.
A fathers role has always been one of the most important parts of an emotionally healthy child and adult. A fathers love is most critical in the maturing of a girl to a lady. He is her first reference of behavior a young woman has to compare how a man should treat her.
If a father is absent or rarely available, a young woman will create a habit of pursuing men that are not available (emotionally or physically). She may also create a pattern of “proving” love or allowing men to fill your life with disrespectful words and actions.
I know we cannot choose our parents… we get what we get. With that said, we are in control of our own habits with men. We create the pattern of allowance and habit. Therefore, people will treat us the way we allow them to. We control what we take in, this includes listening to “…how you too can be a ho,” or hearing a man tell you, “I will be over to talk about your wonderful day.”
Happy Father’s Day