Ladies, have you ever gone out with a guy that you’re excited about? Then (crashing thunder) he opens his mouth and says something that makes you want to toss a drink, Eric Williams style, and run. Maybe your date was late, talked about sex the entire evening, or put no effort in planning a date. Ugh! Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. We have all sat down with a man in hopes of a blossoming great relationship and quickly realized we need to create an escape plan.
Here are some tips to keeping it classy while you tell him to kiss your assy.
The Late Bad Date: Your date shows up late or doesn’t respect your time: 5 -10 minutes late is excusable. Traffic and time delays happen. Don’t beat him over the head or constantly bring up how late he was. Allow him to apologize and move on. When your date is 20-30 minutes late (or more) his tardiness can be related to time management, or he just does not care about your feelings enough. If you want to continue on the date go ahead… but you are sending a message it’s ok to disrespect you. You can also choose to listen to his excuse inform him of your standards and give him one more chance. If he is late again- DROP HIM! Under the most extreme cases, don’t go out on the date. No phone call prior and during his tardiness or “no call/no show” can get you fired from a job, so you need to fire him from your life.
The Bad Date Answer: If or when he shows up (after the 30 minutes you waited and did not hear from him), politely let him know you made other plans or arrangements since you did not hear from him. Don’t yell, cry, and ask him why. If he cared that much about your feelings and emotions he would have protected them in the first place.
A man should be EXCITED about taking you out and being in your presence.
The Worst Date: You’re having a lovely evening until your date brings up his ex, sex with you (and you have not had sex yet), sex with someone else, his finances, he accidentally reveals a lie, etc… All of it makes my head hurt, but the goal is to avoid your heart hurting in the future. Many of the prior subjects can be excused as nervousness. We all get anxiety and say things we wished we didn’t. Excuse the slip ups. You can decipher nervous blabber from intentional instigation or a lack of manners. To calm the nerves of your date put your hand on his hand or arm. The physical contact will help calm his nerves- a bit. Touching will also show him you’re interested in him, so he can rest his mind from working so hard to impress you. The intentional instigator wants you to react as a test. If a man ask you out on a date it is because he wants to get to know YOU. Do not let him give you “test” so he can approve of you. He wants to fit into your life, that is why HE ASKED YOU out.
The Worst Date Answer: If the conversation is something you feel uncomfortable sharing let him know. Politely change the subject. Don’t ignore what he said. Let your date know you would rather hear more about him and his hobbies before you learn about his sexual past, his sexual plans for you, his ex, or his money (or lack of). If your date ignores your request early in the relationship he will really ignore your needs later. Setting a standard for what you allow early in the relationship will demand respect from him as a mate, a friend, or a passing acquaintance.
BTW– If you discover your new man has lied to you confront him. Hear his reasoning, but be very wary of a man who lies to you about anything (money, job, his past, family, children, etc.). Lying to you is NOT respecting you, even if he says the lie was to impress you.
The Good Date: A good date is a person that shows up on time or early. A gentleman that has a date planned for you and him to get to know each other. A good date respects your boundaries and knows as the relationship progresses both of you will learn more about each other. A good date is excited to see you because you give your best self to him and expect his best.
We all know dating is tough. We want to find the right mate or meet a good friend. A date should not be a part of our lives we would like to forget due to bad behavior or etiquette. If a date cannot understand standards and respect… be classy and tell him to kiss your assy… as you walk away from a potential bad relationship.